fall (and other things)

Jess told me the other day that everything about me kind of fits into a mold except my fascination/obsession with kpop, which kinda adds a twist on it all. We were sitting at Dudley's eating french fries on a Sunday and I had to wonder, when did I become this person? When did I become so painstakingly normal that the most "particular" thing about me was that I was that I'm kinda into kpop (which like come on, is that even that exciting?)

And then I was having dinner with Annie and Kerry, at 10pm on a Tuesday (what kind of monsters are out past 9 on a weekday? fun monsters, which I am not because I am boring and work at 10-6pm where I get a steady salary) and Kerry mentioned that all Annie and I talk about is shopping and credit card points. We failed the Bechdel test.

So what is it about graduating from a top liberal arts school with an expensive humanities degree that leaves you incapable of having intelligent conversations as an adult? It has nothing to do with schooling, or how smart you are, I think--I think it's the adult part.

It's the fact that you work and put on this different self at work. Maybe you're lucky and your job is intellectually stimulating in a philosophical way (which is the intellectual stimulation I'm talking about, not like doing really hard math or thinking about how to make nested divs work or whatever) but I think for most of us, we don't get that philosophical intellectual stimulation because we're so tired all the time.

But I want to reframe this: I don't want to see it as something that has to be done, but something that needs to be done. Daily mental exercise.

• Start reading on the train again. For some reason I stopped (after having read 14 books in 3 months lol). But this is a necessity. And stop scrolling through Instagram on the train.
• Stay up to date with my Feedly, a tool that aggregates all your reading material across the world wide web.
• Stop listening to French music while in bed and online shopping. Restart your Podcast hours.
• Call some friends. Lydia and I had an hour long, bicoastal phone call on Crazy Rich Asians from what it is as a film (soundtrack, acting, the Mah Jong scene) to what it means for the larger Asian community. 
• Stop eating french fries frivolously at 4:00pm on a Sunday at overpriced Australian cafes and start being more productive.

I've also given some thought to picking up a part time job on the weekends, maybe at a cafe so I can meet interesting people and pick up some skills, or the front desk at a museum. But also the main motivation of the part-time job isn't really meeting interesting people or picking up skills but so I can fund my outrageous lifestyle habits. I guess some things are hard to change.

Also, as part of an effort to being accountable I will do a 2 week check in of the aforementioned action steps! 

xoxo

Khanh